George Hamilton
as

Tyler Hoechlyn
as

Rob Mayes
as

Helena Mattsson
as
MAN IN BLACK
Urbane, Italian-American hit man. 		RICKY HERSHEY
Late 20s. Handsome, cool, and brooding. He is from the wrong side of the tracks. Garage mechanic by day, waster by night. Ricky is in love with the unattainable Sylvia White. 		KILCLINE
30s. Ricky’s best pal. Well-dressed, financial wheeler-dealer, Kilcline is in tortured relationship with June Verona. 		SYLVIA WHIMPER
Spoiled rich kid, 18-25. She is drop-dead gorgeous but a real ice maiden. Sylvia is stuck in an engineered engagement to Sebastian-Stempel Garamond.


Helena Mattsson
as

Ken Davitian
as

Creed Bratton
as

William Sadler
as
JUNE
Late 20s/early 30s. June is a sassy career woman and fiercely independent. Confused over her on-off relationship with Kilcline. 		HARRY WHIMPER
Sylvia’s father. Short, stocky, in his 60s. Nouveau-riche social climber. Comical but a real bully and permanently enraged. 		POPS
Ricky’s dad. In his 60s. Bedraggled, wheelchair- bound and living in squalor. Jailbird turned religious fanatic. 		BOB
An elderly bar room habitué. UFO-obsessed. Loves telling tall stories.


Rusty Schwimmer
as

Mark Matkevich
as

Phil Hendrie
as

MOTHER Sylvia’s mom, Harry’s wife. Late 50s. A meek, timid, frumpy sort. SEBASTIAN STEMPLE-GARAMOND 30-ish. Sylvia’s fiancé. Tall chinless wonder from blue-blood stock. MELVIN SMARTY
Weary late-night radio talk-show host whose non-pc, on-air conversations punctuate proceedings. 		MELVIN SMARTY