RICKY HERSHEY
» NOW CAST Late 20s. Handsome, cool, and brooding. He is from the wrong side of the tracks. Garage mechanic by day, waster by night. Ricky is in love with the unattainable Sylvia White.
KILCLINE
» NOW CAST 30s. Ricky’s best pal. Well-dressed, financial wheeler-dealer, Kilcline is in tortured relationship with June Verona.
SYLVIA WHITE
» NOW CAST Spoiled rich kid, 18-25. She is drop-dead gorgeous but a real ice maiden. Sylvia is stuck in an engineered engagement to Sebastian-Stempel Garamond.
JUNE
Late 20s/early 30s. June is a sassy career woman and fiercely independent. Confused over her on-off relationship with Kilcline.
HARRY WHITE
Sylvia’s father. Short, stocky, in his 60s. Nouveau-riche social climber. Comical but a real bully and permanently enraged.
POPS
Ricky’s dad. In his 60s. Bedraggled, wheelchair- bound and living in squalor. Jailbird turned religious fanatic.
SEBASTIAN STEMPLE-GARAMOND » NOW CAST 30-ish. Sylvia’s fiancé. Tall chinless wonder from blue-blood stock. MOTHER » NOW CAST Sylvia’s mom, Harry’s wife. Late 50s. A meek, timid, frumpy sort.
BOB
An elderly bar room habitué. UFO-obsessed. Loves telling tall stories.
MAN IN BLACK
Urbane, Italian-American hit man.
MELVIN SMARTY
Weary late-night radio talk-show host whose non-pc, on-air conversations punctuate proceedings.
MELVIN SMARTY
   
BOB
MAN IN BLACK